Lessons Learned

Where to begin. This week was very full and rewarding.

Of course on Monday I sang two Wolf pieces on John Mueter's lecture recital. I must say that was a lot of fun, which is the first time in a while that I have felt like that. When you get so far in musical studies, the pressure can be so overwhelming, and the analytical side of your brain totally prevents you from enjoying performing.
However, in one of my classes, my teacher Tom King said something very profound which made me reconsider how I look at performances. His advice was that "95% of performing is done before you walk on stage. All of the work that you do practicing technique and diction and interpretation etc. before you go on stage stays with you on stage. Only 5% of a performance is actually unknown and left to chance. And that tiny 5% is not worth worrying about." I thought that was very wise. And I did enjoy that performance a lot.

My master class with Barbara Bonney was very interesting. As I was watching her work with other people, I had the sense that she would like what I did, because she was all about keeping the cheeks up, keeping the tone very forward, and interpreting the music. That is something that my teacher and I have been working this whole last year toward, and so I felt pretty confident that she would like what I did. I performed the piece well, and again had fun doing it. However, she surprisingly enough did not like how forward my tone was. Well, that is not entirely true. That is of course something that you need, but she felt like it was too one-dimensional; that I need more openness in the "back of the head."
Now, such imagery does not work for me. I don't know how that is supposed to feel, or how to do it (just like the imagery of "feeling like you are throwing up" doesn't work for me, since the last time that I did was when I was 6 years old, and I simply don't know how that feels). And so, I was trying and trying to understand and do what she was saying, but I didn't feel like I was able to. So, it was a little bit of a disappointing experience for me. I watched others get up there and sound like different people after making some adjustments, but I didn't have anything so enlightening happen.

Luckily, I understand my voice teacher here, Stephanie Weiss, very well, and during our lesson on the following day we worked on making more space in the back by singing on NG (sound familiar Frau Kierig?), and something just clicked for me. All of a sudden I was singing with all my potential, the forward placement and the space in the back. It was revolutionary. I always knew that I need space in the back, but I guess that I always had a mindblock about it, and would create tension for myself by trying to create the space. And when I try to avoid that tension, then there is not enough space. But after that exercise, it was suddenly clear to me what everyone has always been saying to me the whole time about space. So, I just have to keep practicing my music on NG (and then opening up to the vowel WITHOUT over extending my jaw) until that feeling becomes second nature. It would have been nice to have learned these things before Monday's recital and the Barbara Bonney master class, but better now than never. I really am glad to be here!